I only want to be with just YOU forever~ - Your Guardian Angel: July 2005

Friday, July 29, 2005

Batman (horse rather) Returns?

Yes people I know I haven't been blogging at all since the break... Too many things happened in the span of these 2 weeks, and I really dunno how to start.

Well, moOn was saying my blog was making a new record rusting here, so well. Hm. She had me to just start by saying anything. Haa... And I must mention, moOn was quite a help during the time I was feeling low. =)

Well, school sem 1 part 2 is as hectic as it can get. School re-opens first week, and all the school stress plops right in on your head. Woot!

Assignments. Project Work. Looking back, I nearly can't believe I really did it all in time. Lol... too much relaxing during the hols I guess.

Well, like the typical me, I'm getting bogged down by feelings again. Falling for someone I know I shouldn't... Lol. And its a really BAD time to be involved in this kinda things. Well and my friends started speculating, and oh-holey-moley well you can be sure they got it all wrong and started rumors saying I fell for a gal in class... My group member some more la. Ridiculous!

Well like I said, its just feelings; not affection. So don't think the wrong way.

At this stage inn life, its still hard for me to determine what is liking; what is friendship liking; what is affection. Its just, a feeling. And infatuation gets SO in the way, and its gets SO confusing. Thats where ALL the trouble starts.

But oh well we all live and learn I suppose. The tide is more or less over now, and I can concentrate on work at hand better.

2 weeks into being a Radio Presenter (or DJ) at the BizPark Radio, and I feel that much more intelligent ^^ Haha... Well Mrs Nah was a great help with her pointers; I feel totally at home by the 2nd week. First week was really a flunk I think, but hey it was great exposure.

Be sure to catch me OnCampus LIVE! on Wednesdays 2 -4, Thursdays 10 - 11 and if you missed them, fret not - I am agian on air from 5 -6 on Thursdays! ;)

Well thats about it I guess... And one last word of wisdom - Whether you think you can or can't, you are usually right. And it worked on me ;)

11:12 PM

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Break week

SO far, so good. Nothing much to do than Maple everyday lo. And practice on the guitar. Practicing Radical Dreamers, Marriage D'Amor, To Zanarkand, and Tai Cong Ming currently, also writing a new song. Not much inspiration at the moment.

Had guitar practice yesterday, so, being free as I was, I just went down la. (Lol my parrot just tried to creep up behind me and almost tripped on the wire xD)Once I went into the room only i heard this wierd farting sound.

Ying was playing some yellow whistle which I then realised was the "quack quack" they were talking about. Lol...

Bl said I mlm. First thing I went into the room was to fart. Lol... dang. That thing is so evil.

Well, moOn, and ying were practising their Yong Bao again. At least their plucking was good, now they're practising their strumming. Speaking of which I'd have to brush up on it.

Then, moOn wanted to play the song with the quack whistle... Gee. Aren't they bored... Lol...

Well the whole practice yesterday was like nothing to do la. Went down to sit around. Well, nothing to do at home anyway...

And when we were about to clear out of the room to go, moOn suddenly remembered my b'dae present and gave me. Haha. Its a wallet, Billabong one. Shared by her, and goldfish. Originally I thought only goldfish giving me... coz moOn said she had nothing to give me. Then she said no, she bought the present, the both of them share it. Haha... thanks orh =)

And this morning goldfish was asking me to use the wallet. Haha... yea sure.

More busi-ness coming down this week. Got TV Studios rehearsal later. Graduation Ceremony, they haven't called me yet. BMR, have to find Ms Kumaran. Thursday, got AG again, instructor coming down. Thursday also, got Chi CDS lesson.

Joy and wonder, so much for having a break week.

10:14 AM

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Its 11 o clock and its time to blog blog blog (whatever)

When they say a blog is an online diary, they were lying. So obviously. You can't put anything too personal, too private up there as you would in a hand-written diary.

Been a few days since I chatted with moOn on MSN... and yest night (again seeing her status was Away - and its again Away now xD) I went ahead and talked to her online.

Lol turns out that she's watching videos! And I thought she was studying.

And, as it is, she's as dao dan as ever. xD Always saying I bully her orh... she's the one bullying me lor! She said I very qi guai. Sometimes very long then blog once, sometimes blog everyday. So I said, no inspiration mah. Chat to her online ler then have. And she said oh ok I shall not come online then you'll have nothing to blog. xD See la... tsk tsk. Still say I everyday bully her, if got 1 day never bully her means qi ji ler.

Ask her how many papers left. Got 2... Tell her to jia you orh. And she said cannot add le, oil ver ex these days. xD Say she dao dan again, she say no, is she creative. xD

She arh, always lidat la. Cute cute one... Thats why got inspiration to blog.

Otherwise, I'll just be describing the same old things I do everyday. Yucks. B.O.R.I.N.G. *achoo* I'm allergic to that man. SO allergic.

And cheryl, yes. She was going to msg me on 3rd July midnight hapi b'dae, but forgot. Only remembered like yesterday night. xD

If you were wondering why my last blog entry sounded so different, it was coz I was feeling depressed. Like moOn said, I should let go of stuff, and not think so much. Like her, "dun care" lidat. Haha...

Oh well. Happy-go-lucky, anyone?

10:52 AM

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Drift...

Now, I fully understand what Durkheim meant when he said anomie. Studying Psychology. Studying Sociology. Philosophy, theories to explain the world and how humans and society work - thinking it would reinforce my optimism, but what it did was bring into clearer view of the harsh realities. Pessimism gains a step.

Or is it just me? Do I not see the positive sides to things as I have before? Or have I been disillusioned before?

- - - - - -

He hears, and sees, and observes the crowd below. They are huddled together; they are one together; they are oblivious to their dark surroundings, and they seek company and consolence in each other.

Or was he the outsider?

Was he the one who is deviant?

One thing he knew for sure - he did not talk in the same frequency as they did. As they now did. He wasn't sure if he was above them anymore. He wasn't sure of the very ground he stood on.

He continued looking at them. Their speech was audible; but it was not something he understood.

He used to be amongst them, but as cliques were formed, he found that he wasn't at the right places, at the right times. Fate worked against him; he thought. But was it that he did not belong in this puzzle in the first place? Why did he find only find prejudice and unpleasantness which he could not explain?

He was a firm believer of Fate, yes.

But what really made him stand where he was now, still looking at the group, was not just all that pondering. Someone, in that group now, as he looked, had always been his good friend. Emotional ties that bind, are the toughest knots that can not be undone. He thought he was mantaining ties well; but as he saw things now, as he read her words everyday, the longer the distance was. The string that bound got tauter and tauter - it hurt him, but he didn't give up.

Even as hopeless as it seemed now.

He didn't think it would have had an effect on their relationship. But the more he thougt about it, the more he seemed to know he was consoling himself, he was disillusioning himself.

Did people really have more than one side of themselves? Could they really balance more than one relationship at once? Could they switch between vastly different mindsets with ease?

He did not know.

And for certain, he was not confident in himself. He wasn't confident in this believe.

- - - - - -

7:07 PM

Monday, July 04, 2005

Test start, test over

Hoho. Yesterday my b'day. Stayed home la, play Maple plus study the rest of the Socio txtbk.

Aunt, grandma, grandpa they all came over. Bought me a bag. Haha... Actually wanted the one like moOn that one de, so soft in txtture... but they got me a rough rough one. Haha... 77th Street de. Got around 100+ - 200 for b'dae money. Dad and mom dunno what to buy me, coz I tell them I dun nid anything. Mom actually wanna buy me shoes de, but I dun wan... Haha. No nid so many shoes la.

Ying earliest to wish me hapi b'dae de le lar. I think... She msged me at 3 am! xD Then never check blog yesterday. Today then see goldfish and moOn wish me happy b'dae. Haha... Thanks! Meiz also msg me hapi b'dae. Hm I got tell her arh... xD STM sia me. Dunno la.

[EDIT: Haha I just checked the time in tagboard. moOn is the earliest! 12.22 am... Haha... zhen you xin orh! xD]

See moOn online from like 10 am yesterday ler. Wanted to disturb her de, but I think let her study better. But I dun think she studying xD Socio really nothing much to study ley. everything I rem from class ley. Got a few indian terms (brahman, kshitrya, vaishya, shudra, dalit - all the diff names for the castes in India ><) and names to remember, but otherwise nothing much sia. Dunno why.

At night dad play the SWAT DVD again. Seen it for like the 4th or 5time le. Then switch to the charity show, dunno in front whappen le la. Only watched the Zoe Tay part. Dad say the dices arh, got thin layer of sticky stuff. So they will stack neatly lidat. Haha... dunno isit real or not.

Then today is the first and last test. Sociopsych paper, 9 - 10. Really quite easy lor. Ok la I should say, quite ok la. Dun sound so arrogant can.

Haiz this break week arh, not break week de lor. Got survey need to think up, got TV program need to discuss, got AG freshman orientation also, and got news article need to write for the Chinese Stop Press.

Hm... I shall procrastinate! xD

11:47 AM

Friday, July 01, 2005

Next Week test week!

Started studying liao lo. Halfway through le. Coz weekend too many distractions, plus my b'dae on sunday. Sure cannot study de.

Now downloading MSN Messenger 7 and Win XP SP 2. WIndow Messenger screws me up lor. Made me restart com coz it became SOOOO slow suddenly. Kao. Thought I off Windows Messenger le. Then wen yuan just msged me. o.O Wth sia...

I don't see the Messenger icon ley. Hm.

Yesterday.... Haha at first moOn still haven decide if we would meet for lunch mah. Then at 2 am she msg me say she cannot, haf to go Bedok Interchange. SO I msged her say meet her at biz entrance at 12. Then arh, she msged me say meet me in front of LT 21. K la...

Everytime I pass through canteen there I always never de lor. Reach school liao, moOn eye very sharp whor - she saw me first! Haha... then call out to me. SO I linger around her table la. Eating slowly again xD Give her the present lor. Ask her, say Hapi B'dae to you now, or on the day? Say no nid say... xD

Then go lecture hall, sit down le, she msg me say thanks. xD SHe shy to say thx in face sia... tsk tsk.

Then evening got home le, she see the present liao lor. She say she feel very paiseh coz never get me anything. Haiya nvm la, got such a good friend like moOn arh, is a very big b'dae present le! =D

Today in class our BMR tutor she very nice. She see we all so tired go upstairs get chocolate for us. Everybody 2 bars of TimeOut, can eat in class. And still tell us dun answer her questions with our mouths full of chocolate xD

Haha...

moOn arh, chionging DVD today. Say or else weekend cannot study, too many distraction xD moOn arh, cannot self discipline de... haha! Not first day know her arh. Say her term break pack until full full de, need people remind her then know whats up.

Haha... Tsk tsk.

8:56 PM

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