I only want to be with just YOU forever~

Monday, April 09, 2007

I laid wide awake in bed last night.

There was an uneasiness in my heart and mind... All through the night, all through today.

All the while, all I could feel was a deep sense of self reproach. Alot of things went through my mind - all my faults, all my shortcomings - especially the times that've ruined both our moods.

Sadness hangs over me. I was very upset with myself.

Then, only one thing kept ringing in my mind.

"I never want to have to hurt you, and then say sorry, ever again, darling."

This promise, this resolve hung on my mind all through last night, all through today, and will continue to be on my mind - I will always be in reproach of myself for not having done this earlier. In reproach of myself for letting my emotions run wild. In reproach of myself, for being such a fool.

As I write this, I hold back my tears - tears not of wanting empathy, but rather, an overwhelming sadness and frustration at myself.

I feel so helpless - against myself.

8:01 PM